You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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