After last night, I could never be a politician.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
