she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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