Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
