You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
where are my pants?
in the oven.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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