He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
