I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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