so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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