he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
