Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
