I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
