U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
