Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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