I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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