Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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