Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
