I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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