I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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