He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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