In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
