Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
