dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
