I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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