Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
