respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
