with your own penis?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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