tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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