wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
