The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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