Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
