when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
