So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
