we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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