you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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