GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
