Sacagawea was the original milf.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
