love makes seman taste better
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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