Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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