i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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