I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My dad is sitting where you rode me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
