'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
