well I can't set my house on fire every night
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
