you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
