But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My dad just said "fuck circus"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
