It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
