so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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