I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
