I wish I could teleport
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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