I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The adults are the big ones right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
