I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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