mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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