Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
