He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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