you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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