this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
