So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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