Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
