Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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