Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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