I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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