My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just pee around me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
