She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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