..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
