M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
