farters have to be the big spoon...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
