k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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