Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize