I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
love makes seman taste better
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
