Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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