o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
