just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
