Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
