I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
